I'VE HELD MY DEVIL AT GUNPOINT

I’VE HELD MY DEVIL AT GUN POINT

A young mother so happy and joyous with her new family stood holding her newborn child in her arms. Her eyes full of silent joy, were fixed upon the sleeping child all cuddled up in her arms in a bright white cloth. A smile lightly stretched across the right side of her lips added to the peaceful beauty upon her face, as memories of the past hours of pain and misery disappear in a single glimpse of the infant in her arms. All around her rushing people and loud noises fade away into a silent blur and the only noise she hears is the sound of the infant’s slow repeating heartbeat.

For two years she and her family grow in love, creating an unbreakable bond between each other. But their happiness could not last. Taking their final breaths, the father and child stood looking down on themselves lying on the floor. The wife and mother hunched over them, screaming in horror. He eyes like rivers, she screams again and again and again until her voice gives out as her face turns red and her body becomes weak and falls to the floor!

Struck with unbearable grief and sorrow, and a heart that had stopped beating, she faded away into the shadows of the world, leaving behind everything she had ever loved. With each passing day her pain grew stronger and more unbearable until she was driven to insanity, and she could no longer take it! She wanted to end it all! So she grabs a revolver and waves it in the air! Screaming in horror and anger and demanding answers! Demanding that someone tell her why, why her happiness was taken away! “WHY?!” She screams over and over and over again! Her lungs straining to keep up! Her mind confused and overwhelmed!

Then before her a man appeared, though he was not as much a man as he was the featureless, black as night shadow of a man not there.

She pointed the revolver at him, bringing his head into its crosshairs, prepared to pull the trigger. But as she looked into his eyes she was struck with a sudden fear. His eyes were even darker than the rest of his black as night body, and as she starred into them she saw the blazing oblivion of hell and all of her pains and sorrows, everything that was consuming her. The man embodied all of her emotions of grief, sadness, anger, and fear, everything within her that drove her to insanity, everything that was destroying her, everything that she could no longer take.

Her eyes were strained and marked with red veins, flooded with tears of anger and drenched with sorrow and heartache. Her eyebrows arched downward, casting a shadow over her eyes, and her jaw was clenched shut, straining the muscles in her face. Her skin was flush red as tears flowed down and dripped off her chin. Her entire body shook, overwhelmed with conflicting emotions of anger, sorrow, and fear.

“You…” She said heart wrenched and stricken with horror, her voice faltering. “You did this to me. You’re the one who took away my family, the one who took away my happiness.” Her jaw trembled as a stream of tears fell from each of her eyes.

He slowly and silently nodded his head.

“You stole them from me…” Her throat was choked up, barely able to find the courage to speak. “You stole my family.” As she starred into his eyes, struck with fear, she saw the moment her family had been taken from her, the moment her heart was stricken of its beat. They were as clear and true as her own memories, as if from her own eyes they had been taken. It was in that moment that her heart seemed to fall from her chest and vanish beneath the floor, her entire body becoming numb, her fears disappearing.

She looked at him, her eyes hardening with a layer of ice, her face marked with anger. “You-” She paused and took a deep breath. “You stole my family.” She spoke through her teeth with her jaw clenched shut, her tongue soaked with anger. “You stole EVERYTHING from me. You destroyed my life. YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE!” She erupted in rage and waved the revolver at him, the end of the barrel coming inches from his face!

He stepped forward until the cold metal barrel of the revolver touched his forehead. From the touch of his skin, the tip of the barrel heated until it glowed red, illuminating the darkness of his face. A sudden burning pain arose under her chin, though she didn’t notice it.

Starring into his eyes, she was confronted with more memories of her happiness and the moments it was taken away. They were like knives into her stomach as they stripped the air from her lungs. She tried to look away but her eyes were frozen and she could not turn her gaze. She tightened her grip around the handle and pulled back the hammer, lightly squeezing the trigger.

More tears began to flow down her face. She was so overwhelmed and confused; she wanted it all to end! She wanted to be free of what she saw standing before her! Free of the pains and misery in his eyes! The painful memories that haunted her own mind! She could no longer stand to see their faces in her eyes or hear their laughing voices in her ears! Every waking moment she had she could only see them! The memories of her family haunted her and drove her to insanity! The pain in her heart caused by the thought of them compelled her to squeeze the trigger! To end her pain! To end her own misery!

She closed her eyes as the voices of her family rang through her ears and pictures of them flashed before her eyes! She tried to breathe but the pain suffocated her, she tried to think but their voices clouded her mind! She looked at the man, the revolver still aimed at his head, the glowing hot barrel still illuminating his face and the images in his eyes.

Suddenly, her heart began to pound and beat sporadically. It felt heavy and consuming and weighed her down, pumping the blood through her veins so fast she thought she might burst. Her head throbbed and ached until her brain felt like it was boiling. The pain was unbearable. She screamed at it to stop but it only became worse until she could barely stand.

She looked at the man with a face mixed with opposing emotions of fear, anger, sorrow, and complete horror. She couldn’t take it any longer. “I want it to end.” She said barely able to speak, her lips quivering uncontrollably.

Slowly, the trigger pulled back under her finger, the cylinder spinning and the hammer slamming down.

BANG!..........

She falls to the floor, the revolver in her open hand, a burning hole in her chin, the man disappearing into darkness like all the other images in her eyes, and a silent peace falls upon her face, a look of utter relief.