Chapter one
My name is Damian, I’m twelve and I live in Craz-Tow. I know, that’s a weird name for a town, but what can I say, I live in a weird universe. It’s a small town with a population of about four hundred people, creatures, animals, and some other things I’m not sure how to classify. Hmmm… let’s see, how do I explain this? Well, in my universe there is a very wide variety of people. There are Humans, Orges, Minotaurs, Elves, Dwarves, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, Goblins, Ghouls, Giants, Unicorns, Witches, Wizards, talking animals, animals that don’t talk, massive Owls we call the Wise ones because of their great knowledge, and so on into a list far too long to write down. You’ll hear about the others soon enough. How my universe can to be this was is a little complicated, but I think I can explain it well enough for you to understand.
Imagine your universe as a small rock lying on the ground. The rock doesn’t move or just stand up and walk away, well that is unless some kids decide to play a game of slap leopard with it. Wait, you probably don’t know what that is, do you? Hmmm… Forget about that, back to what I was saying. Your universe is a rock, and so are all of the other universes. Yes, there are other universes, each of them filled with its own cool and unique people and things inside it, and they’re all just sitting around like rocks, just like yours.
So picture an open field filled with rocks, all lying around by themselves, none of them bothering each other or anything of that sort. Then imagine a coin on its side, now flick it with your finger. It begins to spin madly around in circles and runs into everything. Well, that’s us. Were the coin flying out of control and slamming into other universes that are just minding their own business. Whenever our universe touches another universe a portal between the two is opened and everything around the portal is sucked in. That means things from our side are pushed into their side while things from their side are pushed into ours. Anything can be sucked into the portal, people, plants and even an entire building. Trust me, it’s pretty weird to wake up in the morning and look out your window to see some random modern building lying flat on its side in your yard. Plus it is a pain to clean up, I mean you can’t just leave it there and no one in this universe would be caught dead living in of one those buildings. It’s just not natural here. Just like you wouldn’t live in one of our houses if it suddenly appeared in your front yard, even if it was nicer than what you’re living in now.
So that’s why we have so many unique people, and our list is still growing. From every universe they are sucked up and thrown into our world, and eventually we were just one big melting pot of different and weird people all living together. It’s really quite tragic at first, being taken from your universe and all, being forced to live in this new place, but after awhile everyone comes around to the idea of living here. Well, almost everyone. Some people go rather mad with the idea of never going home. I on the other hand love it here! I wasn’t born here of course, but I was sucked up through a portal and brought here when I was just a baby and adopted by my new family. My mom’s a Dwarf named Teara, and my dad’s an Orc name Bearog. Don’t let the name Orc fool you! He’s a great dad, just a big softy at heart with a rough exterior. You know, with the green skin with the warts and the big teeth that stick out of his mouth and the overly massive muscles. There all just a front to scare off people he doesn’t like. But when it comes to the people he does like, he couldn’t be nicer!
So now that you know why our universe is the way it is, I guess it’s time to tell you about Craz-Tow. It’s a smallish town just off the cliffs of the mountain Clarafade. Clarafade is a massive and steep mountain covered in beautiful green, blue, red, and black colors. You see, half of the mountain is a boiling, raging pile of fire and lava! While the other half is filled with trees and a streaming river. To the west, a river of flaming lava flows alongside the town, while on the east a cool stream of water flows. We use this to our advantage, by making our houses out of hardened lava. This somewhat makes them look like we piled up dark grey mud layer after layer until it formed a basic cube shaped house with a slightly slanted roof, two windows, and a door way large enough to comfortably fit an Orc. The finished product isn’t pretty, but they are the most durable houses in all the land, and only we know how to handle the lava and turn it into a house that won’t crumble. Plus, we have unlimited access to all the lava we could ever want. My Dad works as a lava collector. He pulls it out of the river and prepares it for the creation of a house or a few other things we use it for. As an Orc, his skin has an unusually high resistance to heat which makes him perfect for the job, anyone else who tries to get as close as he does to the lava would burn to a crisp.
Well, the rest of Craz-Tow is pretty normal with large open fields for crops and the raising of Ule and other cattle. Wait; do you know what Ule is? Probably not. Well, imagine a cow with a long horse like neck, now add droopy ears that hang a foot below its head and three tails on its butt. Then make the whole thing bright yellow, green, or pink and you have yourself a Ule. Odd, I know, but you can make an excellent Ule stew out of them, and their pretty fun to ride on when their young.
So, what else can I tell you about my universe and my town Craz-Tow? Hmmm… I’ve been having some trouble figuring out what to write. You know, where to start and what to talk about and how much to talk about it while making it all interesting enough for you to keep reading. It’s harder than you’d probably think! I mean just go ahead and try it! I bet you couldn’t make an entire story about your world. But of course your world is nothing like mine. You don’t have dragons or rivers of lava or brightly colored Ule. Well, you might have one or two of those, but not all of them in one place!
Alrighty, what can I tell you? I guess I should tell you about some of the important people around town, the ones whom hold our community together. Well, for starters, there is our mayor, Jurrlo. He’s a Dillweed. Now sure what the name means or why anyone would call themselves by such a thing, but that’s what he says he is, so we go with it. To paint a picture for you, imagine a human. Now shave off all his hair, give him dark tan skin, and catlike eyes. Now extend his nose out until it’s thin and pointy and then curve it downward. Give him a mouth full of small sharp teeth and a purple tongue, then fill his forehead with odd tattoos that look like a mixture of curving lines, and now you know what Jurrlo looks like. O, and put him in an all black cloak that hangs to the ground, with a hood that he never lifts over his head. He just lets it dangle around on his back. Despite his rigid and terrifying exterior, he’s a rather peaceful person. He’s very smart and kind and has a way of dealing with people that makes him pretty great at being mayor.
Next we have Mead. Mead runs the local Inn called ‘The fourth leg’. He takes in the ‘new arrivals’ and gives them a place to stay until they can find a place of their own and get a job to support themselves. Pretty nice guy if you ask me. He is what we in Craz-Tow call a Dindy-do. Another odd name I know! But he likes it, makes him laugh every time he hears it. To describe a Dindy-do for you, you’re going to have to imagine a brown bear. Now stand that bear up on his back legs and shrink him down to a normal human’s size. Give him fingers like a human but take away the pinky on just his right hand. Pull back his large nose and mouth until his face is almost flat, and then take away his teeth and replace them with only two sharp ones in the front of his mouth. Give him tall bunny like ears that stick about a foot up over his head, dress him in brown trousers and a tan shirt, give him an extremely deep and growly voice, and you have yourself a Dindy-do! Mead was lucky enough to be brought here with his wife, Heely. She looks about the same as he does, except her voice isn’t as deep and she wears pretty dresses and other girly things.
Next we have the three bullies of Craz-Tow, Jed, Fred, and Ped. Yep, we have bullies too. Their triplets and they all have the same short temper and bad attitude towards everything. They are what I like to call, ‘Jerk-ta-pusses’. Ever seen an Octopus? Well, take an Octopus and give it a purple human body, let its tentacles be the hair, and give it one black eye in the center of its face. Add a mouth with a blue tongue and really big muscles everywhere in its body. That is what Jed, Fred, and Ped look like. Their fifteen and only seem to pick on those smaller than them. You know, guarantying that they won’t lose a fight. Well, their main target is most often me. I’d rather not get into details about what they like to do to me, so let’s move on.
So to the last person I’ll mention now, my best friend! Her names Saraphine, I call her Sarah. She’s an Elf. If I had to describe her, I guess I would say she was, well, I never thought about her like that… She’s really pretty. She has long blonde hair and pointy ears and a defined face. Just like all other Elves I guess. But like I was saying, she is my BEST friend and we do practically EVERYTHING together from our daily chores in the fields, to spending the nights over at each other’s houses. We have a lot of fun.
I know I said Sarah was going to be the last person I would to talk about, but I really should say something about myself. Well, I’m a human. I have brown hair and brown eyes, a lean body… I mean, a huge body, massive muscles, and I’m also super smart, like a genius. Alright! I guess I shouldn’t lie. I’m a pretty skinny kid, no really big muscles like Jed, Fred, and Ped. But I am pretty smart, not a genius, but smart. I’m not sure what else to say, I’m just a normal human living in a very not normal universe.
Well, I think you kind of understand my universe and Craz-Tow now, or at least I hope you do. Ahh, whatever. If I think of something else I should have told you, I’ll just come back and add it in. It’s not like you would ever know…
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